<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Hairbrushes and Self-Hatred by MicrosoftPain</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26038465">Hairbrushes and Self-Hatred</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MicrosoftPain/pseuds/MicrosoftPain'>MicrosoftPain</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Needs a Hug, Fluff, Hair Braiding, Its really fluffy in the beginning, Kinda?, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Patton Does Remus’ Hair, Self-Hatred, Then it gets, y - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:27:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,446</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26038465</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MicrosoftPain/pseuds/MicrosoftPain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Pattonnnnnn!” Remus groaned annoyedly, despite the soft warm feeling in his stomach at the feel of Patton’s hands in his hair. “First you make me take a shower, and now you’re trying to brush my hair?! I feel like Roman!” </p><p>“Oh hush, you’re gonna look so cute.” Patton said from behind him. Remus couldn’t help but blush.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, implied</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hairbrushes and Self-Hatred</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Patton kinda hates himself for hurting Remus in this so... </p><p>!TW!<br/>Self-hatred</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Remus felt uncomfortably clean as he stepped out of the shower in Patton’s bathroom. His feet met the heated white tiles on the floor and he hummed in surprise. His bathroom had cold, often moldy, cobblestone flooring. It was nice to not immediately shiver after stepping out of the warm water.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He grabbed the light blue towel that Patton had left for him on the rack and hurriedly dried himself off. Patton’s bathroom was very clean and very white, two of Remus’ least favourite things, and he wanted out. He liked being clean even less than he didn’t like clean surroundings. Usually he limited his showers to once a month, but Patton insisted he shower before joining him in his room.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After pulling on the pair of PJs he was borrowing from Patton, since he slept naked he didn’t have any of his own, Remus exited the bathroom followed by a cloud of steam. Patton turned around from his position on his bed and smiled at Remus as he entered. Remus scrunched up his nose to show his distaste for the situation and pouted as he flopped down onto the soft baby blue bed. He watched the ceiling fan spin around slowly as he basked in the softness of Patton’s clothes and bedroom. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“See, showering wasn’t that bad.” Patton cooed as he shuffled over. Remus laughed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s where you’re wrong.” He said, pushing his head back against the bed to stare up at Patton. “It was awful. It was warm and clean and smelled like flowers. I can’t believe you made me do it. It’s probably a violation of my human rights.” Remus scrunched his nose again and wiggled his moustache, pretending to be disgusted. I’m reality, he wasn’t that upset about having to shower. Being clean wasn’t that uncomfortable, and he smelled like Patton now, so that was a nice bonus.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aww, I’m sorry kiddo, but you’re not allowed to sleep in my room with blood all over you.” Patton giggled, booping Remus’ nose. Remus smiled and pretended to bite Patton’s finger.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe I should just go sleep with Virgil then. He never makes me shower.” Remus complained. Patton ignored him. Remus could hear him rooting around on his bedside table for something hurriedly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sit up.” Patton said, nudging Remus’ shoulder as he turned back around. Whatever Patton had gotten, he was holding out of Remus’ view.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh, Why?” Remus asked. He was slightly suspicious, Patton could be holding a large variety of things behind his back. Like a knife or a decapitated horse head or a pice of jagged glass or the holy bible or even-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just do it. Please?” Patton said, snapping Remus out of his thoughts by sticking out his lower lip in a begging pout. Remus groaned loudly and picked himself up, scooting back on the bed to sit cross-legged. He looked at Patton curiously.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you gonna kill me?” Remus asked as Patton moved behind him. He tried to stop his beating heart as he felt Patton’s hand land on his shoulder. He swore he was going to melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Nope.” Patton said, and Remus could hear the smirk in his voice. Patton’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m going to do </span> <span class="s2">much worse.</span> <span class="s1">”</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then Remus felt something tug at his hair. It combed through a couple strands and Remus gasped.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No!” He ducked away from Patton’s hands, which were holding a blue plastic hairbrush.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come on... Remus!” Patton giggled, lunging after Remus. He managed to grab the freshly-cleaned side by the waist and pull him back down onto the bed. He tugged Remus against his chest and tried to prevent him from scrambling away. It was a struggle but he managed to hold onto him long enough to speak. “Just let me do your hair and I’ll bake you all the cookies tomorrow okay? I won’t let Roman have any.” Patton released his grip on the other side as he let the offer sink in. Remus scrambled away a little, sitting back on his knees to think it over. Patton did his begging-eyes again and Remus sighed loudly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine. But Virgil doesn’t get to see it. Janus, maybe. Not Virgil though.” Remus muttered. “Or Roman.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Patton’s eyes lit up happily and Remus flushed.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Yes!” He exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air. “Come here.” Patton patted the bed in front of him. Remus reluctantly complied, settling himself between Patton’s legs. He tried to ignore the heat he felt from the places Patton’s body touched his own as he shifted closer. He tried to distract himself by voicing how much he </span> <span class="s3"><strike>loved</strike> </span><span class="s1">hated what was happening.</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Why me?” He muttered. “First I have to </span> <span class="s2">shower! </span> <span class="s1">Now you’re </span> <span class="s2">brushing my hair?! </span> <span class="s1">I feel like Roman.” Remus muttered. He would never admit how much he actually enjoyed the feeling of the brush, and Patton’s fingers, carting through his hair. It felt like spiders crawling across his scalp in the best way possible.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh hush, you’re gonna look so cute!” Patton gushed. Remus was glad he was facing away from the moral side, because he was sure his face was as red as fresh blood.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">~~~~</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After he was done, Patton pulled away from where he was leaned against Remus’ back and moved to look from the front. Remus had to literally bite back a groan at the loss of warmth. Patton surveyed his work with a squint.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You look adorable!” Patton finally said, his smile widening. “Come look.” He grabbed Remus hand and pulled him off the bed. Remus ignored the feeling that his heart had exploded in his chest at the contact.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once in the bathroom, Patton all but shoved him in front of the mirror. Patton was smiling brightly, a slight blush across his face, but Remus assumed that was just from the heat in the restroom left over from his shower.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Remus looked towards the mirror. He blinked. Was that him? Surely it couldn’t. The Side in front of him looked so... domestic. His hair looked soft and fluffy, not greasy and tangled. Instead of his usual makeup he was just a pale not-so-demonic-looking version of himself. In his not gross hair were seven little ribbons tied into little bows. There was one colour for each of his fellow sides, and one for Thomas. He reached up to touch one.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They represent us. Your family.” Patton said as of it was the most normal thing in the world, but the words hit Remus like a truck.<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">His </span> <span class="s2">family?</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He couldn’t help but stare at his hair, his eyes slowly filling with tears. Family? Remus’ Family. It had a nice ring to it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Remus?” Patton asked. He met Remus’ eyes in the mirror, a concerned look in his eye. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Remus sniffled. “Nothing, Pat, I’m just... I never thought I’d ever get... accepted.” His voice wavered into a whisper at the end.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Remus...” Patton sighed. He pulled the other into a tight hug, letting him cry on his shoulder. As Remus balled his eyes out Patton hummed and combed through his hair. A couple tears fell down his cheeks. He was horrified.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">He </span> <span class="s1">did this. </span> <span class="s2">He </span> <span class="s1">made Remus think he could never be accepted, never be </span> <span class="s2"><em>loved</em>.</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He hated himself. He hated himself </span> <em> <span class="s2">so much.</span> </em></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Patton, I can hear you hating yourself.” Remus said, his face still buried in Patton’s shoulder. He sniffled loudly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I just.... I hurt you so badly. I don’t know how you could ever forgive me.” Patton mumbled. He squeezed the creative Side harder, burying his face in the others clean hair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not fully your fault. Besides you had lots of pressure on you. I mean, yeah, you fucked up. But you made it better. You’re constantly trying to be better. I consider that a good enough reason to forgive someone.” Remus responded. “Plus you’re hot.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Patton laughed. Remus smiled proudly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m gonna keep trying my best.” Patton muttered. “You deserve it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not so sure I do, but I like the sentiment.” Remus replied. They fell into a comfortable silence.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Pat?” Remus asked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah?” Patton replied, pulling away from Remus a little to look him in the eye.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks. I kinda dig the hair.” Remus said, leaning up to kiss Patton on the cheek andduck back into the bedroom with an offhand comment about how he was tired.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Patton brought a hand up to his cheek, where it still tingled from the sensation of Remus’ lips (and moustache), a smile on his face.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe he wasn’t the best person he could be yet, but he was going to get there, for both his and Remus’ sakes.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>